Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Stevie's Poem

Stevie likes to write poems and awhile ago I asked her to write me one, this is what she wrote.

Always My Baby
A drop of dew so fat and plump sits upon a rosebush
I sit and stare and watch it fall daydreaming childhood memories.
A little girl so young and sweet smiling with her mommy
The bond is Strong and full of love as mommy hugs her baby
A love so pure with ties so thick it seems impossible to break
As time goes by the stronger it becomes, nothing else compairs to it
The love between a mother and a daughter
A feeling so special meant to cherish forever trust building into friendship so real,so innocent so pure.
They live happy lives as a family full of love so close in such a short time
A flash goes off inside my mind, years are speeding by
The baby is grown in a few short years different now, no longer sweet or loving instead a miserable teen
Her hateful eyes and mouthy words are directed at her mother
The words are meant to hurt/sting moms feelings they secretly break her heart into tiny pieces always to be broken or so it seems
Mommy always kept strong never letting on how really hurt she was inside
A constant fight that never ends about such small things
The words sometimes different but the fights the same...you are wrong I am right why can't you just let me be me
You don't understand anything about my life so stop pretending you do, you are not fooling anybody our worlds are different, our lives don't belong together.
Mommy just smiles sadly as she pulls her close she whispers in her ear, believe it or not I do these things for you so you will know right from wrong
When you are on your own one day you will see how much I love and care for you, and how much I worry about you. No matter what my feelings won't change
A mothers love for her children is stronger than any metal, it knows no boundaries it is built on emotions, trust and even fights
With a small smile and a wink of her eye Mommy says now don't you ever forget no matter what your age or what size you are you'll always be my baby.
When you have a child of your own I hope you will remember all this and maybe you will understand when you are having the same fight with your on little one.
Life brings lessons and tests to shape who we become, but when life throws you a curve ball or you are caught of guard and you feel so alone don't you worry I will be there to help you through because you will always be my baby.
A hateful flash more hurtful words aimed to pain her mother, a curt reply...no matter what lies ahead in my life one thing is for certain I won't be like you I'm positively sure, you are controlling and bitter trying to live my life for me,you don't even have a life of your own, you don't understand me you never will so just stop trying to fool yourself.
She had not even a glimmer of sorrow or feeling of remorse in those cold green eyes.
Mommy gave a sad look and said if you only knew, how right you are you and your siblings are my life, it is my goal to see you accomplish your goals, I understand you more than you think.
you are insecure and scared and trying to understand the world around you.
You are young just barely a teen
She screams back when I have a child of my own they will do as the please, they will have the freedom I was never allowed.
Okay baby girl was all she said we'll see how much freedom you'll give them in a world so dangerous, so cruel so cold. You ask me to see it from your point of view just once try to see mine, put yourself in my shoes then maybe you will understand just a small portion of what I do for you.
Months go by not much changes they drift farther and farther apart.
At her wits end Mommy wants to give up, she hopes and prays and eventually there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
A teary eyed teen walks into her Mommy's room with some news.
She is filled with terror, shame crawls up her spine.
AS she crawls into the bed she takes a deep breath...Mommy I have a problem.
Tears streaming down her face she confides a secret that will change them both forever.
Mommy I am pregnant, I am alone and scared
Then she cries and cries till she finally runs out of tears.
Mom sits back breaths in deep as she tries to comfort her babies pain, tears well in her eyes but she won't let them fall as she smiles down on me.
There are no angry words or hateful looks ever directed from her to me.
She shows n disappointment or regrets she just hold me and says
Don't worry I am here for you no matter what you can't forget you will always be my baby.

At times like lately when I am worried sick about Stevie and the choices she makes I read this and hope she will come back on day, get her life back on track and remember that I cannot stop worrying about her and "just let it go" because she will always be my baby.

2 comments:

  1. What a wonderful poem......
    And yes, our babies are always our babies... *HUGS*

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  2. What a beautiful tribute and poem. Stevie obviously respects and loves you, and that goes a long way. I hope things go well with her. It is so hard to watch our babies grow up and face problems. Sometimes I would like to freeze them at one age and never let them get older. Problem is-- I missed the ages!! They all grew past it too quickly, and i was worrying about the fingerprints, and messes, instead of enjoying it!!!!

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