Monday, September 19, 2011

Just to busy

I have not posted in such a long time, because I simply do not have any extra time these days. 
I agreed in June to take on the GM job at the airport while they looked for someone to take over (my plan had been to quit in June and go to school full time) then I agreed to put in for the job after all my employees kept asking me to, I interviewed, cleaned up the station, helped finish an investigation, worked A LOT, finished up my volunteer position with the FRG, spent a week at the hospital with Richard as he had some health issues, my GPA dropped from 3.82 to 3.60 (not good) and I dropped my next set of classes to concentrate on work with the hope that I would soon get a break.  Instead what I got was a phone call telling me they had decided to bring in someone else, I was the second choice and had she not come along it would have been mine, and I was next in line.  And they wanted me to stay on and work on some special projects with her.
After I got over the initial shock and hurt I was semi relieved and again thought now I can quit and take care of some family issues, school etc. but no instead I asked for military FMLA to give me a few months to see if I could come up with some balance before I left for good, but they turned it down since the Army is not (understandably) willing to turn over all over Richards medical records to civilians, so instead I worked a deal where I could work a reduced schedule, train the new girl and have more time to take care of my needs.
The best laid plans seem to rarely work and I am now working everyday, even if I am not supposed to be there I am getting called in for something, the new girl is struggling to catch on, most of my employees have either given notice or are actively looking for new jobs, they are upset and unhappy at work, I am stressed all the time, Richard wants me to quit, I want to as well but at the sametime I am concerned about money and making sure we are pretty much debt free prior to his retirement so it is a hard choice, and evertime I think I have made it I second guess myself, I know I just need to make up my mind and stick with it, but I am not a quiter, I am worried about leaving my employees, I am worried about money, I guess I am just worried about everything all the fun!!!