Motherhood needs an instruction manual

I wish being a mother came with an instruction manual for those times when you just don't know what to do anymore. How do you convince a child (who is not really a child anymore) that the path she is on is harmful, and will only lead to unhappiness, how do you make them see that some things or people will never change and you cannot make it different no matter how hard you try.
My wonderful, beautiful daughter Stevie, who has always wanted to see the best in people, and yet has the "Griggs" streak that allows her to hold a grudge long after you remember what you were mad about, called me this morning crying, of course she says I don't want to talk about it, well sweet pea I am your Mommy as you say and if you call me crying we are going to talk about it, turns out the bottom line is she is in Colorado I know though she won't tell me to try to get the babies dad to get them a house so she can move back with him, Sienna is still here and he will not give Stevie the 35.00 is will cost for me to fly Sienna to her, since she is my granddaughter she does not get my flight benefits, but I can give her a buddy pass so it is only 35.00 as opposed the the 658.00 it is for someone to pay full price. Now keeping in mind that when he found out she was "maybe" pregnate at 16 he took off and was unheard of for a year, since then he pops in and out of Stevie and Sienna's lives, never really taking care of them, as I said Sienna is here with me right now, meaning she is getting 100% of her support from us and he cannot pay 35.00 so he c an see her.
If I had my way Stevie would just get on the next plane home, she misses Sienna and try as she might she cannot make "him" into what she thinks a Dad should be, I told her she thinks every Dad should be like hers was, thinking the sun rises and sets on his kids, that is what she knows from her life, he did not know his dad well, does not have much a of mother and really has no background on "family", Sienna is almost 4 now, if he has not made an effort by now he is not going to, and I am tired of crying myself to sleep worrying about my baby and seeing her throw her life away.
I know I have held onto Stevie to tight, I did not prepair her for real life as I should have, because she was my first and because she came home pregnate so early and needed me so much at the time, I know these are my mistakes, but I also know she has the ability to be anything she wants, she talks about school and a better job and life for her and Sienna, and while I hate to think of the day when I will not have Sienna everyday anymore, I also look forward to the day when Stevie feels ready to go out on her own with Sienna, but I cannot stand the idea of her being back in Colorado where I cannot take care of them when it goes bad, making sure she has what she needs when he won't, I am just at my wits end, a mothers love is unconditional, but that means our hearts are also very breakable, and right now mine is in several pieces. I pray and pray and pray and have to wonder is anyone listening.