Life has certainly been up and down the last couple months. We continue to wait for answers from the VA/Army about retirement, basically all we get is a run around so life is up in the air and I feel like I have no control over it at all. A feeling I really hate.
Christmas Eve we found out one of my dear friends was diagnosed with lung cancer and given a very short time to live. Her mom and I were friends in Nevada, turned out in this small world that Steve had known her for years before I met him and since she lived in Colorado we got close while I lived there. She lives in Grand Junction and helped so much with my kids when they would go visit their Dad, I always felt more comfortable about them going because I knew she was there to help.
She had some serious feelings for Steve and I hoped they would get together, she cared deeply for my kids and they loved her and they are already part of her family, her mom is "Nanny" to the kids so I thought it would be perfect. Instead I got a call from her brother telling me she was in the hospital and not expected to live long, my heart just broke, she is a caring, generous person who has been through a lot of heart ache and trials in the last year and I thought she was catching a break instead this....
She is fighting and we have so small glimmers of hope that may give her a little more time, I pray and pray for her but sometimes I wonder is anyone listening.
I am listening and so is God. Though I know at times it is hard to see that. I really know. I don't know what we are to learn from some of our trials or why some seem to have so many more trials that others. Perhaps God know they are stronger, though it certainly doesn't feel that way. Maybe I just like to believe that. I do know that there is hope. I do know that he does love us and is aware of our trials. All of them. I dok now he wants the best for us. Sometimes that faith is so hard to keep up.
ReplyDeleteYou are in my prayers always. You are a strong person. You are a caring person and God is aware of you. I admire you. In spite of all the difficulties you have experienced in your life ( and you growing up years were so much more difficult than mine) you are such a caring and giving person. I love you and So does God. Keep going..... After the trial of our faith cometh the reward. I just wish the trial wasn't so hard or long - I am sure you do too!